Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
