3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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