This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
