I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
