Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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