Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
