Ambien. No doubt about it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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