i need an iv and a liver transplant
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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