Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize