It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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