So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
