Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
