I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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