we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
