You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
