that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
