Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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