I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
