Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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