so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
