He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You can't special order awesome
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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