THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
