threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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