You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
