After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
