Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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