uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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