Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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