I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
