My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
