:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
