your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
