felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
