I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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