need another drink. this is the easiest way
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
