yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
