I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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