Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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