Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
