did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
