How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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