You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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