it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
