all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
