Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
