OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
