I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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