my sisters under your porch take her home
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
