It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
