Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
