arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
