he puts the penis in happiness.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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