New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
