Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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