Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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