I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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