It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
