With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
