hell yes lets make some ravioli
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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