dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize