Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
