Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
