Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
