It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
