I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Boobs speak an international language.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
