Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So many bounce houses so little time
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize