You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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