I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
